Bonkers For Conkers

A quick reminder of how to enjoy these beauties without bruising your knuckles.

First, take enormous pride in the fact that you got that stamp to open up the prickly shell just right and have revealed that chestnut jewel. Best of all, you are the first person in the whole world to touch it.

Secondly, if you've collected loads, then the simplest thing is to find something like an upturned plastic flowerpot or empty water bottle, and play Target Practice. Sit about ten feet away from the target, take turns to throw conkers at it, and see who has the best aim and can knock it over the quickest. Play ad infinitum.

Alternatively, arrange an assortment of cups, cereal bowls and pans in a large circle around you and try to land your conkers inside them. Label each container with numbers according to difficulty, then see who can score the most points with ten conkers.

Or try a penguin race. Put your arms down by your sides with your hands parallel to the floor. Now the tricky bit. Pick up a few conkers and place on the backs of both your hands. (Little hands can only manage one or two, grown-ups should aim for at least three.) Start the race and waddle as fast as you can to a finish line keeping the conkers balanced. If they roll off, you must pick them up and replace before continuing.

For anyone still keen on the traditional pastime of all-out conker war, please can I suggest a slightly gentler alternative. All-out apple war. Windfall apples, particularly the mushy kind, are much easier to skewer and thread onto string, the explosions are far more spectacular, there's much more mess to laugh at and your hands don't hurt nearly as much afterwards.

Tasty Blackberries and Spiders

This gorgeous late summer weather has been just the ticket. I wasn't at all ready to start bunkering down.

The blackberries are amazing this year. Every hedge seems to be stuffed full of big, fat juicy ones so we've been keenly foraging. This week's home-grown produce included Apple & Blackberry Juice (completely delicious and has used up loads of our boring cookers) and Apple & Blackberry Jam (more like a thick jelly really, but tippety-top on toast). We've also simmered the odd handful with a bit of sugar for a few minutes and served up the thick syrup that looks like congealed blood over the top of ice-cream. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.

I've also had my first spider's-web-up-nostrils moment this week. Every year at this time, you just cannot be out in the garden without walking smack bang straight into one. But just why, no matter how tall you are, do they always have to be at face height? Anyway, for anyone feeling bereft of September spiders, here's an edible version to make with the kids. Take two round cheese biscuits and sandwich together with some cream cheese. Then stick eight twiglets or chipsticks into the cheese to resemble legs and add a couple of sultanas for eyes. Snacktastic!

How Many Times?

Ever played the game called "How Many Times?" You know, the one where you ask a question, (usually related to whatever you're up to), such as "How many times have we walked to school in the rain?" or "How many times have you eaten a '99 flake?" You then mull over each other's guesses, often wildly inaccurate, possibly sharing a funny memory that the question has triggered, before moving on to a new question. It's one of those gentle pastimes that can come in handy when the kids are kicking their heels, or indeed each other's heels.

Well my question to myself today is, "How many times have you thought about getting a website up and running and then done absolutely nothing about it?" Oooh, now, let me see... 10 times a week for the last two and a bit years? That's about 1,200 times. Impressive procrastination, huh?

Hence this blog. It's not exactly the award-winning, internationally-renowned, visited-by-millions-website I had imagined. But it's a start in getting my games and ideas to amuse the whole family into digital form and out into cyberspace. I hope the Daleks become a happier bunch as a result.